The alleged Taliban fighter Hicks apparently carved the phrase ‘Free Schapelle’ into his chest with a canine tooth ripped desperately from his very gums. Ripped away, no doubt, like Schapelle’s hopes of freedom. ‘Little turd will do anything for a bit of attention’, said General Brad Milton.

Meanwhile, on a less serious but more factual note, Melbourne broadcaster Derryn Hinch this week attracted outrage from the public when he suggested accused drug-smuggler Corby is not necessarily innocent. Hate mail highlights included the following two beauties:

“Eff you Derryn. Go kill yourself you effing Nazi.”

and:

“I am ashamed to think I actually started to like you during Dancing With The Stars!!”