[taken from this week's Darlington Advertiser]

In a moving tribute to Pope John Paul II, Darlington couple Sam and Kath Watkins have named their first child after the much-loved pontiff. “We’re actually atheist but couldn’t help getting emotionally caught up in what has been the greatest celebrity death of our time” beams Sam. “Apart from Diana,” adds Kath, the proud new mum.

The couple admired the way the Pope was able to touch so many people and hope their daughter will one day do the same. “Not in the Biblical sense, though”, warns Sam, taking on the role of protective father effortlessly. “Any boys come near her I’ll make them wish they’d never been put on God’s earth. I know what they’re like. The f**kers only want one thing.”

Sam and Kath were going to name their daughter after pop seductress Delta, but say Pope Watkins has “more spiritual feel”. We at the Darlington Advertiser agree and wish all the best to the community’s latest addition! Pope Watkins was born on April 9, weighing six pounds six ounces.